Heyyyy buddy, how’re you doing? You okay? Yeah, you’re okay. So it looks like you got yourself a little bit incredibly high. How’d you do that? Could be you got your hands on some really strong stuff, or maybe you ate too much of an edible. It doesn’t really matter. The only thing that matters is this: you’re going to be fine.
Thanks to legalization and medicinal marijuana, pot is stronger than ever. And while, in most cases, that is amazing news, it can have some unfortunate side effects. Like getting crazy, insanely, “I can’t feel my legs” high.
I understand that being “High as F#%k” is not always fun, but there are ways to make it way better. Here are some tips that might help you turn this ship around and get you back to having a fun time.
Sit Down and Relax
I understand that “trying to relax” is a little redundant, but if you are feeling paranoid or uncomfortable, the first thing you should do is sit down. Get comfy. Try to ride it out. Remember that this is just temporary, so try to enjoy the high while it is still around. Cause that’s why you did it, right? It’s sort of the whole point.
So just find the biggest, softest thing you can sit on, spread out, and embrace the moment.
Did that work? Awesome!
Oh, it didn’t? Okay, just click that blue “next” button.
Have a Chat
If you are around friends, having a talk is a great way to get you out of your own head. If you can start talking with someone else who is high, it can help you realize that you’re not the only one affected by the weed, and that everything you are feeling is fine. Just remember to keep the conversation light. Maybe talk about how high you are, since that is top of mind. It can help to get it all out of your system.
Seriously, just start babbling. It can be extremely cathartic, assuming you are in a place where people aren’t judging you. And if you are someplace that people are judging you, why? Get out of there. That sounds terrible. Leave.
Oh are you not around friends? Okay, just click “next.”
Oftentimes, people bug out when they get stoned out in public. And while I could sit here for days and explain to them that nobody gives a shit if you smoked a little pot, the truth is sometimes group settings can be a lot to handle when you’re ridiculously high. If that is not the case for you, or if you are already home, then skip ahead.
Now, if you can get yourself home safely, that is probably your best bet. Walk, take a cab, or (if you can handle it) public transportation to get back to your fort. But please don’t try to drive. If you are so high that you can’t be in public, you definitely shouldn’t operate a moving vehicle.
And for those still considering driving home high, imagine this: you are stoned out of your gourd and a cop pulls you over. There are lights in the rearview mirror and a sheriff shines a light right into your bloodshot eyes, and asks for your license and registration. Are you ready to deal with cops right now? Just call a cab.
Oh no, did that make you more paranoid? Shit, okay, just click next.
The iconic stoned activity, and for good reason. Watching cartoons can be a great way to either enhance a high or help calm down. Cartoons like Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Regular Show, or Adventure Time are basically crafted for just this occasion. With all the bright colors, absurd plot lines, and over-the-top characters, cartoons are the perfect escape from the reality that is causing you to bug out. So just pop one of those on and get lost in their universe.
If that doesn’t work, just click that little blue button down there and see if that helps.
Take a Nap
If you are really having a bummer time, and you can find a quiet place, taking a nap is always a good way to get over being too high. Just sleep through it. And while this could be construed as a waste of the very substance you paid to enjoy, the fact is you aren’t enjoying it, and if sleep can help you speed past this awkward moment, do it.
Plus, you will probably have some crazy dreams. So buckle up for those.
Can’t get to sleep? Okay, well you know about how the blue “next” button works by now. Click it.
Suck a Lemon
No, this isn’t my way of saying man up. Literally, suck on a lemon. Or have a lemonade. Really, anything with lemon in it should have some effect, according to High Times.
Evidently, the terpenes in lemons can negate the effects of the pot in your system. What are terpenes? Good question! As far as I can tell, they are the particles that give certain plants their aroma (i.e., lemons and pot), and they can have various effects on your brain chemistry. So it’s like battle of the smells. Or not. I’m not a scientist. The point is, you retain the most terpenes by not diluting them, and since they are found most in the juice and the peel, literally sucking on a lemon should do the trick.
That said, I have never tried this remedy. Although I probably have had a lemonade after getting high at some point. I just wasn’t monitoring the effects. So go ahead and shoot an ounce or two of lemon juice. It’ll put hair on your chest.
If you don’t feel like drinking uncut lemon juice, a glass of lemonade never hurt anybody, and it’ll probably help you perk up a bit.
Okay, well that is all the tips, and honestly, if you got this far into the article odds are the high has worn off or subsided a bit anyway, so hooray!
If you are still uncomfortably high, just remember that it will end soon and that as long as you sit down and try to relax, nothing bad could possibly happen to you. Just wait it out. And remember to do a little bit less next time.
Also watch this.