I’m still amazed by how easy it is nowadays to find a hookup, a relationship, and anything in between just using your smartphone–with Tinder becoming the default application to do just that.
And even though more and more couples are meeting online and the taboo surrounding online dating is slowly but surely vanishing, on Tinder, just like in real life, there’s people who have game, and people who don’t.
So if you’re ready to hit on people while on your morning commute or in the toilet (really, what a time to be alive!) see below to find out how to create a killer Tinder profile:
Tell A Story With Each Of Your Pictures
It might go without mentioning but we’re mentioning it nonetheless–your first picture has to be the money shot, the one that says I’m good looking, fun and intelligent. Okay, maybe not all of those things at the same time but it has to be the one in which you look your best (we live in a visual world after all and if you want her to keep swiping through your other pictures, you gotta have a good “hook”).
How do you know which picture is the best? Ask your friends (especially female friends) and act on the data collected.
Once your first pictures establishes that you’re good (or decently) looking, you get to show who you really are with the other five pictures. You play hockey or DJ on the side? Show it and all of your other passions with your pictures.
Surveying both dudes and women that use Tinder, I also learned the following rules for Tinder success when it comes to pictures:
- Pets, pets and more pets. All women I interviewed said that they can’t resist seeing a picture of a guy with a dog or a cat.
- Easy on the selfies AND the group pictures. One group picture is recommendable to show that you have a solid crew and know how to have fun but you also gotta show potential dates that you’re your own man. As for selfies, they’re very much a last resort so please try to avoid them.
- If you’re fit, do NOT post gym selfies (we’ve all been tempted, specially when the lighting at the gym works in your favor highlighting shadows and cuts non-existent in normal conditions). Wanna show off that you workout? Post a vacation picture where you just happen to be shirtless–although, in all seriousness, if you workout it’ll be noticeable with a shirt on so no need to get douchy.
- Demonstrate that you have a life, as in a varied and exciting life. If all of your pictures show you at the same bar or at the same gym, that’s a turn off. Instead try to include one picture with your family and another one of that one time you went to Prague or at the cottage. Remember what we’ve always said here: people are attracted to the well-rounded man, to that man who can excel at more than one activity.
- If 6 pictures isn’t enough and you have a cool life (or a seemingly cool life) you can add your Instagram account to your profile as well!
Popular belief is that a bio should be where you explain who you are and why you’re on Tinder or something but that is completely wrong; she’ll get to know who you are through your pictures and the subsequent text messages you guys exchange.
Instead, use the bio to show what you do, what university you go to, your profession, or what you’re aspiring to be. This is also the section where you can show that you have a funny side (one girl I encountered had a bio that said something like “I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge,” which admittedly made me laugh. But if you wanna play it safe and can’t come up with anything witty, it won’t hurt you not to be funny.
It’s a match! Congratulations, thanks to technology and advanced algorithms, now you have the chance to chat with a girl who has a 100 matches just like you. So while your instinct might be to get to know her via Tinder, the best move is to move OFF Tinder as fast as possible. Remember that girls like direct guys so don’t get trapped in a conversation that starts with “What’s up?” or “What are you doing?” Instead, comment on something you saw on her profile or attempt to be funny to then suggest a coffee or fun activity as a change to get to know each other.
The one thing to remember is that as a man, you’re talking to girl that’s getting 135 messages just like yours every single day so you need to stand out. The first message has to be witty and funny and open-ended enough so she has to respond to it. The best options for a first message are a joke and a comment about something you saw on her bio.
The best move to get her number? After a couple of witty exchanges give her YOUR number and tell that she’s welcome to use it.
Following all of the advice above will set you up for success. One thing to remember though, is that Tinder is just an extension of real life so the three rules of a man that girls want to date still apply here. Be honest, direct, and confident, which on Tinder translates to not engaging in small talk, in suggesting specific plans (with a date and time, people!) and in being direct about your intentions.
Be the guy who says something like, “How’s your agenda looking tomorrow night? Let’s go to the Blah Blah Gallery Opening at 9 pm. I want to get to know you better,” instead of the guy who says, “Hey what’s up? Are you free this week?”