It is believed that conversation is 55% body language, 38% tone of voice, and 7% the actual words you use, therefore making eye contact with the person you are having a conversation with is not only courteous, but it is also a top social skill to have. This skill will make you look more attractive, powerful, capable, trustworthy, honest, and above all, confident.
When meeting women, strong eye contact will show them that you’re confident; in job interviews, one study found that employers “were more likely to hire and rate as credible and attractive interviewees who maintained a normal or high degree of gaze than those who averted their gaze.”
Is there a secret to making effective eye contact? Well, we have gathered a couple of examples of how you can improve this skill, they are simple and easy to follow.
Matching eye contact
Look at them when they look at you, look away when they do the same. It sounds simple, but the whole idea is not to stare at them during the whole conversation, sometimes you have to look away, and this approach makes it easier to understand when is a good time to do so.
There are details that should be addressed, first of all, you don’t want to mimic your partner’s move with precision, you need to understand that you are not supposed to be a reflection of them. If you mirror them, they will realize that you are doing so really fast, which is not the idea. Instead, try to delay your moves by one or two seconds, that way when they look away you wait two or three seconds and then look away. This technique will make you look more confident and relaxed. When you look away, always look to the side and never look down–looking down is associated with lack of honesty or of confidence.
Alternate between eyes and mouth
If you are talking to a girl you’re trying to impress, try to alternate between her eyes and mouth while she’s talking to you, and don’t forget to smile from time to time. Ideally you should make eye contact during around 85% of the conversation, but don’t be too conscious about this. otherwise you won’t pay attention to what she’s saying.
Stare at their eyebrows or between their eyes
If you feel intimidated by a person, and can’t look them right into their eyes (or can’t decide which eye to look at) try staring at their eyebrows or between their eyes, this is a simple trick that will help you look confident during the conversation without having to look them at the eyes. This also works for winning staring contests, if that’s worth something. Pro tip: a good way to look at people’s eyes without getting too much in your head about it, is too analyze the color of the person’s eyes and eye shape, that way you’ll be making strong eye contact without you noticing.
Make eye contact with random people
This might sound weird or out of you comfort zone, but by making eye contact with people on street for two or three seconds will help you on the long term to feel comfortable with making eye contact. Try to maintain a neutral face expression, you don’t want them to feel like there’s something wrong or that you want to say something to them.
If the person keeps looking at you for longer than a few seconds don’t get nervous, they might think they know you, just blink or look away without looking paranoid.
Worry about what they’re saying
Don’t worry about what you are going to say next, focus on what they are saying. Sometimes we tend to look away when we are thinking too hard about something, instead worry about what they say and try to not think about what you are going to say after the other person has finished talking, try to improvise on the spot instead of always having a prepared answer. When you listen with the intent to comprehend eye contact will become second nature and you’ll focus only on the subject of discussion.
Trying to impress women
Making appropriate eye contact at a bar will get you farther than a cheesy pick up line. Studies show that how attractive a woman perceives you to be is highly affected by whether you look at them directly or not. The best way to attract a woman is to look at them, smile and hold your stare for a second or two before looking away–the key is to not look away when she meets you eye, hold it for two seconds! If you catch her looking at you within a minute of your first glance, then she’s probably into you, so go introduce yourself.