Girls are into guys that treat them like shit – this little piece of misinformation has been flying around high schools and nightclubs for generations. And it is high time that someone addressed why, despite all odds, this seemingly counter-intuitive piece of dating advice has survived so long.
Do girls really respond to someone that tells them that they have clown feet? Are your chances of getting laid heightened by being disinterested in what she have to say, or by hitting on other girls in front of her?
That said, here are my theories on why this crappy advice has managed to haunt the halls of locker rooms and frat houses for as long as it has.
This may sting a little, but a lot of young dudes are sweaty, nervous wrecks around the opposite sex. It makes it hard to talk to a girl when you can barely see straight. So, if you are focused on being mean to the girl, suddenly they seem less threatening. It is a clever ploy, but here is the catch – girls are not threatening! They’re people, just like you!
I know it may seem far fetched, but girls watch TV, read books, play video games, and even think about having sex! So next time you are at a party and you see a girl you would like to get to know, instead of pointing at her shoes and going “what are thoooooose?!”, why not behave like a civil person and ask them about what they are interested in? Chances are you two have something in common.
And if she ignores you or acts holier-than-thou? Go up to another girl! Did you really want to hook up with some snooty chick anyway?
(In my experience, snooty girls are pretty lazy in bed, so you’re better off anyway.)
Be a Person
I know this may sound dumb, but many guys are seemingly incapable of behaving like normal people in front of girls. You agree with everything they say, oftentimes without even hearing what they said. You over-compliment, making them feel uneasy, like the only thing you noticed was her looks. You keep offering to get her drinks, like you are trying to get her drunk.
So don’t do any of that shit. Instead, pretend like you are talking to one of your friends. Not a close friend, because the two of you just met. Ask her a question. Listen to her response. Comment with a related story in your life, or insight into her response. You know – a normal f–king conversation.
Don’t Hide Your Light Under a Basket
Some dudes feel like they need to be Sir Arthur around women – all gallant and chivalrous. The fact of the matter is most girls are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves, so there is no real need to soften your comments for their “more delicate sensibilities.” In fact, one of the most disgusting and deranged minds I have ever had the pleasure of knowing came in the package of a very demure woman.
If you have a great story that involves a dude streaking across campus or a guy blowing a finger off with a firecracker, let her rip! Bearing in mind, however, that some people – men and women alike, might not find your story as entertaining as it is crass. But hey, if that is what you are into, don’t rest until you find a lady that gets what you are about.
Same goes for nerds. There are tons of hot girls out there that, despite all reason, are into the same shit as you. Superheros, anime, role playing games, sci-fi, fantasy – they may not be wearing a LOTR shirt, but that doesn’t mean they don’t know everyone involved at the Battle of Five Armies. That said, don’t start out talking about your most recent raid in WoW. Instead, try simply asking if she is into anything nerdy. Get the ball rolling slowly and see where it goes.
Be Funny (If You Can)
Totally not for everyone. A lot of people don’t know the difference between a joke and being racist or mean. However, for those out there capable of being witty, do it. Make jokes, have fun, even at her expense a little. Playful ribbing and being an asshole are two entirely different things, and in my experience, girls like a guy who is comfortable enough around them to make small jokes at their expense. It shows that you are not totally hung up on the idea of doing it, which in turn helps your chances of doing it.
Don’t be a wimp
This is probably the most closely related to the whole “girls like assholes” advice. Girls don’t generally like wimpy guys. So when the time comes to make a move, make it! And if the time doesn’t present itself, create an opportunity!
Here is an example – you have been chatting this girl up for the past hour and a half, but her friends say it is time to leave. She points and says her friends are leaving. What do you do?
A wimp would give her an awkward hug and say some shit like “okay, goodbye. See you around,” without creating any chance of actually seeing her around again. Nice job.
What you should do, at the very least, is offer to exchange numbers and ask if you can take her out to dinner sometime in the next week. That is a pretty basic move, but one that she will likely agree to in the short term. Getting those dinner plans is a whole ‘nother bag of nuts, though.
A true baller would move in, kiss her, and say “tonight has been a lot of fun, would you want to come back to my place?” Might this explode in your face? Totally. But no risk, no reward. That said, if you really like this girl and you think she likes you too, maybe just ask for the number with the idea of making plans so you don’t fuck it up right out of the gate. But hey, you are the one at the bar. Do whatever feels right.
Except for the wimp out. Don’t be a wimp. We just covered that. Come on, man.